Preparing For Care, LLC. Proactive Creation of Aging Plans for Parents Nationwide

Caring for Mom and Dad
Local woman talks about being caregiver, tries to prepare other for role
From Independentmail.com
By Charmaine Smith-Miles

Caroline Bell never had children, just her dogs. She was earning a six-figure salary with American Express and Citigroup. She and her husband had a home outside of Atlanta and planned on keeping their family’s place on Hartwell Lake as their retirement home.

Now, her six-figure salary is gone. She and her husband have leased the home in Atlanta and she is caring for her dogs and her dad.

“I just made the decision that I really wanted to take care of Dad,” Bell said.

The shift in her life began in 2006. She lost her corporate position to lay-offs. Her entire office went from 60 people to 12 people and then to none. “It was either leave or move to New York,” she said.

Then, in the same month, she learned her mother was suffering from dementia. The mother who had taken care of everything suddenly needed someone else to care for her and for her husband.

Caroline Bell Of Anderson, South Carolina Honored As One of The 2010 Parentgivers Of The Year

The numbers are staggering. Over 43 million Americans are caregiving for an older loved one. Beyond being unpaid for their efforts, many have had to reduce their hours at a paid job or even leave it completely to devote themselves to an older parent, a spouse or a sibling. Caregiving brings emotional rewards, but also sacrifices, including the caregiver’s own physical and mental health as their needs are constantly moved to the back burner. To recognize these unsung heroes and raise awareness about the challenges caregivers face, Parentgiving.com created the Parentgivers of the Year Awards and is announcing the inaugural recipients, ten outstanding caregivers who were nominated by friends, family—including their own grown children—and health professionals who have seen their devotion firsthand.

Among the 10 honorees is Caroline Bell of Anderson, South Carolina. Four years ago, in the space of one month, Caroline lost her job after 18 years in the corporate world due to downsizing and became a caregiver to her parents when she discovered that her mom was showing signs of dementia. "I thought Mom and Dad had their act together—they ran a successful business, had life insurance, a healthy retirement account and their house was paid for. Did I have to worry about them when I was climbing the corporate ladder to fulfill my dreams? As it turns out, yes," says Caroline.

Caroline's Story From The Book "42 Rules For Effective Communications"

Sometimes, the cruelest twists of fate turn into the catalyst for a chrysalis and birth of better things when handled with empathy and caring.

After 18 years in Corporate America, I was totally caught off guard and devastated when my world changed overnight - a few times over. My journey "From Living in the Future to Living in the Now with Empathy" began on June 6th of 2006, when I was laid off from my high level executive job. In one month I lost my position with the company I felt married to, then my sister and I learned my mother had severe dementia and that we needed to bring our parents into our homes. So I went from a Corporate Executive to a Caregiver to my 84 year old Father. I realized I could not go back and work in Corporate America because I would be trading my salary to his Caregiver. What did the words "caregiver" even mean? Executive to Caregiver? Respite Care in lieu of vacation? Dementia? It was overwhelming.

I was crushed; I had been working and saving towards my retirement since I was 21. I had plans and was right on target at 50 to live my dream. I thought Mom and Dad had their act together - they ran a successful business, had life insurance, a healthy retirement account and their house was paid for. Did I have to worry about them when I was climbing the corporate ladder to fulfill my dreams? As it turns out, yes, even if we don't realize it.